Ok, it’s bouquet tossing time at a friend’s wedding so of course you frantically scramble to, um, hide in the loo. Not because you’re allergic to flowers, but because it’s damn embarrassing to be gaily told ‘You’re next!’ when there is no hint of a husband in your life. You're not even sure if you want one, not while you’re still battling those glass ceiling bruises. You’re proud to be a spinster who is resisting pressure to get spliced too soon, yet you don’t want to put that whole partner-for-life game into perma-frost. That’s cool… just don’t walk down the same aisle as Hera, the Goddess of Marriage.
Hera was the sister and wife of Zeus, the capo di tutti capi of the Roman gods. Mythological incest aside, this meant she was both his friend and sexual mate, pretty much a perfect mix for a successful spouse. But the marriage was stony – Hera was jealous of her husband’s compulsive promiscuity yet unwilling to relinquish the stature and influence of her position. This imperious goddess preferred to be the bitchy power behind the throne rather than a joyous woman with no throne at all.
Maybe there is a man out there for you, maybe there ain’t. Be grateful we’re not in the Jane Austen age anymore, where a woman was considered an ‘old maid’ at 24! Don’t panic about being partner-less. Think what you’d do this weekend if you had a man – hang-gliding, hatha yoga – then do it anyway. Avoid toxic bachelors and thrice-divorced dads if you can. On lonely-only days, say to yourself: “At least I’m not married to an asshole!” Take it from Hera, husbands don’t buy happiness. Embrace your single life and chances are someone will want to embrace you for life.
Mod Hera – Ulrika Jonsson: Swedish blonde bombshell TV presenter. Ulrika has had affairs with a famous footballer and an even more famous football coach. She's been spliced twice and is about to be marrried a third time. Her first marriage to a cameraman lasted five years, her second, to the winner of a 'Mr Right' reality TV show which she hosted, lasted less than three and her third... who knows? She has admitted she may be crazy pinning her hopes on husband number 3, but says she couldn't resist a sparkling ring.
